You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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