I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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