drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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