Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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