dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
everyone is single if you try hard enough
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
