she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You may now shotgun with the bride
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
