i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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