3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize