I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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