he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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