i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize