Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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