Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
