I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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