i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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