Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
