I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
