I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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