My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
