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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize