i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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