i just had sex bonerless
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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