Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
