You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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