She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
