is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
