Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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