When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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