my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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