Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
