I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
