so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
