HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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