u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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