idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
