ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
