I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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