how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
