Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
