Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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