Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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