I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
