If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize