Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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