i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
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It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
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Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened