so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.