that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
