Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS