I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders