I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent