My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun