that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
