He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
