I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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