anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
