im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
