My brain says no but my pants say off.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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