Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
