I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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