there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
