Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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