Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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