I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
