Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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