i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
