I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
